The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die
"I looked at my hand and my little finger was gone – the bone was sticking out. It’s the weirdest feeling; one second you’re fine and your little finger is there, and the next second it’s gone. It shoves reality up your backside. I was in so much pain and shock that the first thing that hit my head was the beat and the bass. The bass was hard, so I just ripped off my top, wrapped it around my finger and tied it up as tight as I could and skanked it out for half an hour. My mentality was, ‘I’ve only been here for an hour, I’ve paid £10 for this night, I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.’ After that, my mate dragged me down to the paramedics."
Friends later told him that a “bunch of stoners found [his] little finger and were playing catch with it.”
now THAT’S what i call a party
THE REACTION FACES ARE WHAT I LIVE FOR
my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia
the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom
look at this snape i found
it seems normal but then
what is this
turn to page 394 motherfucker
Maybe it’s one of theses toys:
gods i hope it is
My mother says that fanfiction doesn’t count as reading because “it isn’t nearly as good as the stuff that’s published. You’re not going to find something online that will win a Booker Prize.”
Please reblog if you count fan fiction as reading, or if the fanfiction you’ve read is equally as good as published novels. I want to see the figures.
*crushes mouse while hitting reblog button*
*SMASHES BUTTONS LIKE IT WILL SAVE A LIFE*
Tell your mother it is better than 50 Shades of Grey (which began as a fan fiction)
"According to the FBI, there have been 129 confirmed white Christian terrorists in the last 20 years. That includes Timothy McVae, the uni-bomber, the Atlanta Olympics bomber and dozens of family planning centers and abortion clinics. Muslims? 19. Which would make white people the most likely demographic to commit a terrorist attack. So watch your mouth before you call me a terrorist or I’ll knock your fucking teeth out.”
possibly the best photo ever
its fucking face omg
*mad world plays in the background*
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
and they said romance was dead
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